Monday, June 17, 2013

A week of "lasts"

The blog title sounds kinda sad when I read it back....but I'm so darn emotional this week, it pretty well fits!  I'm figuring this is all pretty normal, I remember both my SIL and tons of my friends telling me about feeling so sentimental about everything with their "firstborn" right before their second joined the family.  I have no fears of "will I be able to love Ellie the way I love Max?"  I'm already crazy in love with my girl, but more of "will my little man struggle with feeling less important once he's no longer the only kiddo we're giving our attention to?"  Seriously....I'm so emotional these days, everything I do
with Max turns into an "ohhhh, this is the last time it will be just you and me...." some of them are bigger deals than others, but most of the time I find myself thinking "am I really crying about this?!"  

Today Max and I had our last lunch date before E comes home.  I fully realize that Max and I will continue to have lunch dates after she's home, but I seriously felt this urgency to go out with him "one more time."  I said to him as we sat across from each other "you know buddy, even when Ellie is home, and I'm sharing my attention with the two of you, nothing will ever change how much I love you or how special you are to me, you know that right?"  He paused just long enough so I knew he was actually thinking about his answer :)  "Mom, I know you always love me, but Ellie's going to be new in our family so she's probably going to need more attention right, like to learn stuff from you and dad, so it's ok."  Melt my heart, this boy is amazing! 

I don't doubt that we will have our share of struggles, jealousy and fighting as we grow and journey as a family of four.....but man oh man do I have one incredible little boy!